RESULTS REACTION: EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2022 GRAND FINAL

The oddsmakers’ favorite turned out to be the winner of this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. In some ways, the results are what most people were expecting. I got seven of the Top 10 correct, and the ones who made it that I didn’t get were in my revised “Bubbling Under” list. Still, there was room for a shocker or two.

For shocking final outcomes, let’s talk about FRANCE (Alvan & Ahez). Many fans (including myself) thought they should’ve figured in the Top 10, at the very least. But they ended up second to last, with a measly 17 points. They were severely marked down by the juries, and based on points, finished 19th in the televote. Was there possibly a Ryan Dolan Conundrum^*1 at play here? I’ll discuss that further in a full-blown scoring analysis within next week. For those Spanish fans that were at an uproar when their favorite Tanxugueiras was marked down by the juries and thus prevented from becoming SPAIN’s entry to this contest, I have a feeling they will encounter a similar fate if they were sent instead of the eventual Benidorm Fest winner. But look much later on where SPAIN actually fared…

^*1 So named after Ireland’s 2013 entry, who finished last in the final but based on actual average ranking actually wasn’t in last place.

Less surprising is the last place finish of GERMANY (Malik Harris). Fortunately it got some televote support and garnered 6 points, avoiding the double-nil points suffered by last year’s last-placer, UNITED KNGDOM 2021 (James Newman). Its 6 televote points allowed it to finish in 20th place in the televote, so could there have been a Ryan Dolan scenario for this country at play, too?

Ranking below FRANCE and GERMANY in the televote are some that are deemed as “jury darlings”: AUSTRALIA (Sheldon Riley – 9th with juries), AZERBAIJAN (Nadire Rustamli – 10th), BELGIUM (Jeremie Makiese – 13th), and SWITZERLAND (Marius Bear – 12th). The countries each earned less than 5 points, with SWITZERLAND having the dubious distinction of earning the dreaded nil televote points.

I expected NETHERLANDS (S10) and POLAND (Ochman) to be Top 10 finishers but they fell a bit short, finishing 11th and 12th respectively. Their showings were still strong but I was expecting a bit more support than what they received. NETHERLANDS was expectedly strong with the juries, placing 8th, but its 14th place standing in the televote made it drop out of the Top 10 and end up just knocking on its door. POLAND, meanwhile, was surprisingly weak with juries by placing 15th, and though its televote standing (9th) helped shore up its fortunes, I thought this will garner a lot more points than it did.

SERBIA (Konstrakta) and MOLDOVA (Zdob si Zdub & Fratii Advahov)’s Top 10 standings were fueled by televote. SERBIA actually placed a respectable 11th with the juries, but the points it amassed while figuring 4th in the televote helped it shoot to 5th place overall, its best showing since 2012. MOLDOVA was obviously marked down by the juries as it only placed 20th, but a groundswell of popular support (and palpable energy from the live audience) helped it garner 2nd place in televote and soared to 7th overall, behind its 2nd best-ever showing^*2 in its debut by…the same primary act. Both are notable for their strong visual presentations–SERBIA with performance art and MOLDOVA with a peppy, joyful, infectious energy and happy shuffling choreography by the band members.

^*2 Zdob si Zdub placed 6th in its country’s 2005 debut with “Bonika Bate Doba [Grandma Beats a Drum]“, its best showing until the 3rd place finish in 2017 by Sunstroke Project‘s “Hey Mamma“.

I also know PORTUGAL (MARO) would be a “jury darling”, but I didn’t realize the extent until we witness that it finished 5th with the juries. It managed to maintain its Top 10 overall showing even after placing 15th with the televote because of the relatively large number of jury points it amassed.

I was expecting ITALY (Mahmood & Blanco) to make a play for the Top Three, but admittedly their stage performance was imperfect (many noted Blanco’s voice was not in tip-top condition) and that made them drift a bit downward to a 6th place overall finish. Still, this country’s status as a powerhouse Big Five country remains intact.

Well, SWEDEN (Cornelia Jakobs) expectedly was very strong with the juries, placing 2nd. Unlike in the previous three contests where it’s weak in the televote, it did amass a significant number of points, but only enough to be 6th in televote and hence 4th overall.

It’s nice to see two erstwhile Big Five bottom-feeders SPAIN (Chanel) and UNITED KINGDOM (Sam Ryder) finally roaring back to life and finishing in the Top Three. SPAIN is consistently 3rd in all metrics, while the UNITED KINGDOM won the juries and placed 5th in the televote, garnering enough points to finish 2nd overall. The last time these two countries enjoyed placements this high was in the 1990s.^*3 I hope this isn’t a fluke and we’ll see these two countries in strong fighting form in future editions of this contest. Both are worthy of their high finishes as they delivered the perfect balance of song quality, vocal talent, and strong visual presentation.

^*3 SPAIN last saw a Top Three placement in 1995, with Anabel Conde‘s “Vuelve Conmigo“, while the UK last saw a 1st runner-up finish in 1998 with Imaani‘s “Where Are You?“. This is the UK’s 16th 1st runner-up finish.

UKRAINE (Kalush Orchestra) dominated the televote, garnering douze (12) points from 28 of the 39 countries voting for it. Some might say it’s sympathy for enduring Russia’s invasion and for them fighting back but we also have to note that they also have a quality song that actually grows on you after every listen and the visual presentation was also top-notch. So it’s no surprise the juries scored them well enough to rank 4th. I was hoping that they won’t win because of their current situation that could prevent them from being able to host next year, but I don’t begrudge their win as they prove to be compelling and deserve to be rewarded with this victory.

Because of the situation in the victor’s country, preparations for next year’s contest are still up in the air. Figuring out who could step in its place is also uncertain, though likely it might go to the runner-up, UNITED KINGDOM. There is also drama unfolding as the EBU replaced jury votes from six countries to a composite because of observed “irregular” results from the 2nd semifinal. I’ll be touching more on that as I’ll do a fuller review with some in-depth analysis (and hypothetical scenario if the 2013-2015 scoring system was still in place) on how these countries performed.

JUST ME!

JOSEPH

RESULTS REACTION: EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2022, 2ND SEMIFINAL

Sitting pretty midway through the qualifers’ announcement: Team CYPRUS

Making funny faces as the qualifiers announcement comes to an end: IRELAND’s Brooke

I didn’t realize that like in the 1st semifinal, the 2nd semifinal would also have a shock inclusion and a shock boot. And again, I had 8 out of 10 correct.

I’ll start with the qualifiers this time. BELGIUM (Jeremie Makiese) is a shock qualifier for me and for many other people, as the song is rather unoriginal and this type of R&B jam has already been overplayed in the 1990s. But, Jeremie’s vocal skills are undeniable and that may have been catnip for the juries.

AZERBAIJAN (Nadir Rustamli)‘s staging actually borrowed from 2013’s “Hold Me” by Farid Mammadov, as it features a dancer mirroring the singer’s movements. This time the dancer is not trapped in a glass box but is lying parallel in the bleachers below the singer, and the bleachers then split up and move so towards the song’s end the singer faces the dancer. It’s a highly creative presentation that I think helped win over the juries and some of the televoting public. So it’s not that surprising why this qualified.

Most fans believed CYPRUS (Andromache) is a shoo-in for the final, so it’s shocking it was eliminated. Judging from rehearsal footage, it seems to be well-staged and Andromache was casting a seductive spell. But I learned later on from the correspondents watching the rehearsals and jury final show that in actuality the presentation was static, and movement was minimal, and that’s the probable reason that it’s marked down by both the juries and public and failed to qualify.

MONTENEGRO (Vladana)‘s standing has always been vulnerable and could easily have been replaced by other entries out there. I have to hand it to her that she at least stayed on-key when it counted, but her performance was indeed generally low-impact so it’s not surprising that it missed the final.

There are other eliminated entries that delivered notable performances. GEORGIA (Circus Mircus) did feature striking visuals and unusual costumes, but the key issues are the bald-headed bearded clown only appeared as pre-recorded backdrop instead of live, and the band is rather static than dynamic like, say LATVIA and MOLDOVA. If they were more dynamic, they would’ve had a more fighting chance.

We have to hand it to IRELAND (Brooke) that it put up a good fight. Brooke was vocally on-key for most part, and yes, her sassy attitude works very well for the song. Ireland has nothing to be ashamed of with this performance.

ISRAEL (Michael Ben David) deserved to be saluted for giving his all even if the odds are stacked against him. He showcased his fabulous self with aplomb, and despite not qualifying, he did his country proud.

SAN MARINO (Achille Lauro) also put up a good fight. Like ALBANIA, he sexed up the presentation by sporting a lacy bodysuit with black speedos, provocatively kissing his guitarist, and suggestively riding a mechanical bull at the end. There are people who dig this presentation and thought this can sustain a qualification streak for this country, but unfortunately it was not to be.

As expected, AUSTRALIA (Sheldon Riley) delivered a vocal tour-de-force., and he looked fabulous in his white ballgown. I wouldn’t be surprised if this ranked Top Three with the jury.

CZECH REPUBLIC (We Are Domi) delivered a dazzling light show that made it a memorable semifinal closer. It is now slated to be the opener for the final. Can we see this on the left side of the scoreboard?

POLAND (Ochman) jazzed up his presentation with what I can describe as creepy dancing river nymphs. On paper it doesn’t sound like it would work, but it actually accentuated the drama and turmoil conveyed in the song. With Ochman’s vocals totally on-point, it looks like it can indeed be Top Five-bound.

Nothing much changed with SWEDEN (Cornelia Jakobs)‘s presentation from Melodifestivalen to this stage, but its status as a favorite to win remains strong simply because the song’s quality is just that undeniable. And yes, her rasp grows on you.

The standout performance of the night is SERBIA (Konstrakta). This is well-executed performance art, and yes even if it barely has a melody, it’s undeniably catchy.

With SERBIA the only ex-Yugoslav nation to advance, it looks like it has a stranglehold of the ex-Yugoslav bloc, with some Balkan votes also coming to toss along its way. So SERBIA could be a threat to my projected Top 10. Also making a play for the left side of the scoreboard are AUSTRALIA and CZECH REPUBLIC. Holding steady in their leadership status are SWEDEN and POLAND.

With CYPRUS eliminated and based on the semifinal performances, I’ll modify my “Bubbling Under” list thusly:

BUBBLING UNDER: PORTUGAL, ARMENIA, SERBIA, AUSTRALIA, CZECH REPUBLIC, MOLDOVA

Can’t wait to see how all of this unfolds! Best of luck to all the finalists.

JUST ME!

JOSEPH

RESULTS REACTION: EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 2022, 1ST SEMIFINAL

Bracing for the worst: LATVIA’s Citi Zeni

ALBANIA’s Ronela Hajati waving off disappointment after not making the cut.

The 1st Semifinal of the Eurovision Song Contest 2022 featured a couple of shocks, though otherwise I’m pleased I got 8 out of 10 correct. Still, the two that were eliminated still stung as I was rooting for them to succeed.

ALBANIA (Ronela Hajati) was my second favorite entry in this year’s contest, and I was rooting for this to finish Top 10 in the final. I heard about problems during rehearsals, but I didn’t realize the real issue is the staging. I’ve heard talk about how Ronela decided to sex things up for her presentation, featuring four hunky shirtless backup dancers and a sexy female backup dancer. After watching this performance, I can understand why it suddenly fell out of favor–I think the juries and the public were expecting more of a fierce Beyonce-style female empowerment performance like at Festivali i Kenges but instead we get a raunchy, pansexual Megan Thee Stallion-type performance. Expressing your sexuality can be empowering, yes, but Ronela should’ve taken tips from Lizzo and dial back the raunch.

I was rooting for LATVIA (Citi Zeni) to overcome the “No. 2” curse with their stellar showmanship, but I think juries still have serious objections to their silly song and hence are obviously marked down. I hope they at least won over the general public and placed Top 10, as that showmanship could not be denied.

I was shocked at SWITZERLAND (Marius Bear)‘s qualification, as I thought it may win some respect from the juries but I didn’t know it is that beloved by the juries, and I think its qualification is mainly fueled by jury love.

We can also attribute jury love for ICELAND (Systur)‘s qualification, but they are always on the radar and was always a qualification possibility.

Many fans are not exactly fond of MOLDOVA (Zdob si Zdub & Advahov Brothers), but you cannot discount their lively showmanship and this is the factor that made them advance.

Speaking of gimmickry and showmanship, it’s no shock that NORWAY (Subwoolfer) made it. They are always on point, so it’s no surprise they made it.

PORTUGAL (MARO) is first class all the way. Though I don’t buy into the hype that it could be a possible winner, I do believe it can be in serious contention for the left side of the scoreboard.

ARMENIA (Rosa Linn)’s presentation is a standout, with Rosa initially in a pink room where she unveils a few key details from the song before she breaks out of her room to face the live audience.

The staging for The NETHERLANDS (S10) is appropriately dark and moody, and combined with her consistently strong and emotional vocal performance, it is one of the big highlights in this semifinal.

GREECE (Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord) is similarly spare in presentation (save for a bunch of chair props) but still made a standout impact with her stellar girlish vocals and that pretty white Victorian dress.

UKRAINE (Kalush Orchestra) gave the most impactful performance of this semifinal, with the eye-popping (and eye-pleasing) stage presentation featuring silhouettes of the six members of the band projecting on the stage floor, the eyes of an old woman as stage backdrop, the impassioned folk singing and elongated horn playing (known as a sopilka) by Tymofii Muzychuk, and the celebratory breakdancing by MC KyiymMen. All those elements fuse together cohesively that you can’t help but root for them.

I still maintain that NORWAY, NETHERLANDS, GREECE, and UKRAINE will likely figure in the Top 10 in the final, with ARMENIA and probably MOLDOVA figuring on the left side of the scoreboard. Let’s see how the results of the 2nd semifinal pan out.

JUST ME!

JOSEPH